Sell Out is a series by interdisciplinary artist Angela Fama (she/they), who co-creates conversations with individual artists across Vancouver. Questioning ideas of artistry, identity, “day jobs,” and how they intertwine, Fama settles in with each artist (at a local café of their choice) and asks the same series of questions. With one roll of medium format film, Fama captures portraits of the artist, after the verbal conversations have been had.

Nicole Caspillo (she/her) is a barista and cook at a café, textile artist, and expressive arts facilitator. Follow her on Instagram or check out her art at Slice of Life Gallery.

Location: Cultivate Tea

What do you make/create?

I don’t necessarily focus on one medium. My creativity is steered towards what I’m interested in that can be something that I’ve seen on the internet, or in a magazine, and so on. Currently, I’m really into textile art: felting, natural dying, sewing.

Initially, I got into pottery and ceramics. I picked those up in 2016 when I was going through a pretty difficult time in my life. When I feel tense, or frustrated, it can affect my vocal ability and kind of turn me mute. Because talking is so difficult for me, especially when I’m going through difficult chapters of my life, I have to communicate with my hands. So, I picked up ceramics. It was really challenging. It also held the space in terms of recognizing I am a creative.

Things started in ceramics, and that was such a beautiful time, but because the medium is expensive it started to become toxic in terms of hustling to pay for a studio. I was repeatedly thinking things like I have to go to the studio, work, and produce something to make this cost effective. This hurts your creative practice.

I canceled my studio and started looking at resources around me. I started to look upon garbage, and collect organic materials – like avocados, onion skins, and tea leaves. I got into researching natural dying, finding different types of fabrics, and saving a little bit of money. I started to find a balance. I can purchase a really beautiful cotton, with different types of natural fibers, and collaborate with it, and then collaborate that with something someone would throw away, and the results are so beautiful.

I moved to Vancouver for culinary school. Cooking for me has always been such a safe space. When I cook, I use my hands. I feel most confident when I’m cooking. When I’m in the kitchen, everything escapes. Looking toward organic materials is also kind of merging extensions of cooking, in things I would naturally throw away, like cellophane, holding space for the after play. Everything is done, from nothing, to seed, to plant, to my own consumption and honouring of the ingredients.

What do you do to support that?

I work at a local café. In all honesty, they say a job is a job and it started like that. I’ve been at this particular café for 3 years and 8 months. It’s been such an incredible experience in the sense of community a café can bring, the things people can share with you within minutes of meeting them.

Sometimes people leave their house and they’re seeking connection, or for whatever reason, it is that they came to the café that day, it just feels nice I can be a part of the experience. I feel honored when people share with me. Sometimes people are a little more closed off, so being at the café has also been a beautiful teacher in terms of navigating people’s boundaries. I can’t expect to ask all these questions of someone and for them to play their whole life out for me. Sometimes they’re not ready, or they just don’t want to, and it’s ok.

I sell some of my work at Slice of Life, which has also been an incredible opportunity. The people who run the art gallery and studio spaces work so hard. The community that comes with that gallery has been incredible. Plus, I graduated from an Expressive Arts Therapy course in June 2020 and hope to facilitate some expressive workshops.

Describe something about how your art practice and your “day job” interact.

Sometimes I’ll take home some of the organic material ‘waste’ from the café. We use a lot of avocados. I’ll take as much as I can of the avocado remains and put them in my freezer. Going through my day at work I get loads of inspiration talking to different customers. I believe everyone is a creative.

I get inspiration from people, whether it be an art project that they’re working on and it’s something I’m interested in trying (like a medium), or something on what they’re wearing (like a pattern), or even a type of personality can feed a concept in what I’m trying to create.

My co-workers are inspiring. They’re all working on something, sometimes using different modalities I’ve never tried before – like sewing or tattooing. I feel like every moment has been an inspiration.

What’s a challenge you’re facing, or have faced, in relation to this and/or what’s a benefit?

Time, you know, going into work every day. Sometimes I can imagine it would be nice to not think about time and just go into creating and not have to look at the clock and think oh I only have three hours before I go to work.

Financial challenges, sometimes that can be a barrier. This city is pretty expensive. Self-energy too. I feel like it’s great to focus on what you want to create and things like that, but when it comes to trying to market yourself and sell your things, there’s another angle to it where you have to put yourself out there. Sometimes that’s a big challenge in terms of holding confidence.

It’s funny because in the end it always just starts with yourself, coming to peace with everything in life you’ve chosen. I’ve chosen to be in this city. I’ve chosen to work where I work. That these challenges have come, okay, these are what the cards are. How can I navigate around that and respond to them in a way where I feel like I’m able to create some sense of harmony?

I’m pretty introverted but I really love people. People are such beautiful muses. Every single person, including myself. I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand a person and I think that’s such a beautiful thing. You’ll never figure it out because I feel like if you’ve figured it out, what’s the point? People are always evolving and I think that really comes into play in my creative practice.

Have you made, or created, anything that was inspired by something from your day job? Please describe.

More so in the human interactions I have with people at my job. It’s such a privilege to talk to so many people every day that I work. I feel like the interactions I have, and the friendships that I build at the café, really inspire me; in the actual things that I make, but also in my own motivation to create. Sometimes you have moments of relation, or connection, or sometimes even conflict – you feel alive.

I recently made these felted pots I call Cuddle Pots. They manifested from the reflection of touch. Touch is so important to human beings. When a baby is born, it’s so important it’s held and connected to a human. I’m not sure of the scientific or esoteric reasoning or anything, I know for sure in my soul: it’s so important.

Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be physical. It can be eye contact, it can be the touch of the siren (*a firetruck was passing by), or the touch of the ocean. It can be the touch of the energy of two people in a room. These Cuddle Pots manifested during the time where we had to social distance and it really broke my heart. I was feeling a collective grief.

I’m just one person on this planet, but I thought maybe I can create some type of metaphor of what I would like to offer to people who are struggling with loneliness, isolation, and even the heartbreak of having to distance from one another. It came out in this really playful, fun, cuddly pot. I think when I look at it, it doesn’t have to be that deep, but it’s super cute, and just – play, you know?

Angela Fama (she/they) is an artist, Death Conversation Game entrepreneur, photographer, musician, previous small-business server of many years (The Templeton, Slickity Jim’s etc.). They are mixed generation settler currently working on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish xʷməθkwəy̓əm, Skwxwú7mesh and Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh Nations.

Follow them at- IG @angelafama IG @deathconversationgame Website: www.angelafama.com

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Sell Out, A Series: 5 Questions with Nicole Caspillo