"Rockmelon" by Taylor Neal

I see my mother’s hands  

as I slice cantaloupe in the morning.  

“rockmelon,” here in Australia, 

not to be mistaken with honeydew.  

I see her standing at the counter, 8am, before school,  

as my sister and I spoon our Cheerios 

- Noname, unsweetened - 

and drink our orange juice 

thawed from a can. 

first in half, then sliced in fourths,  

eighths —

a pause as her toast pops up.

8 crescent melon moons  

sit patiently on the counter and wait. 

the tip of the knife cuts out the gooey middle, 

a pile of guts on one end of the cutting board, then slice away the 

hard skin. 

I’d watch her make perfect cuts, silently cheer her on,

only sweet orange,

the tough green must go. 

skinned moons chopped into bite-sized chunks,

she’d place a glass bowl on the counter,

popping one into her mouth 

for every piece that went into the bowl. 

or maybe that was me,  

little hands reaching across the counter,

longing to be involved however I could. 

My nana would use a melon baller. 

slower, softer, 

little balls, 

less efficient,  

more fun,

one at a time. 

somehow the taste of the melon was changed 

by the novelty experience 

of being at nana’s,

and scooping the soft fruit 

into little balls 

one at a time.  

scooping one into my mouth 

one into the bowl 

one into her mouth 

one into the bowl, 

cover in saran wrap, 

place in the fridge 

to have later 

atop our cottage cheese 

with our salad plates at lunch. 

cantaloupe tastes like 

the tender mundanity 

of mornings undefined 

with the women who raised me.  

as an adult,  

buying cantaloupe is

never about the actual fruit itself,  

but the purchase of the fruit with the intention 

of chopping it up and seeing my nana’s hands 

my mother’s hands 

my hands,  

generations of hands

gripping the knife.

A Canadian multi-disciplinary artist, writer, yoga instructor and sex worker's advocacy support worker, Taylor is committed to an ongoing exploration of intimacy, sexuality, and how humans can foster loving relationships with their bodies. Practically, Taylor combines their background in dance and performance, their passion for the written word, and their curiosity within contemporary visual art and photography, with their studies in Communications, Art History, Feminist Theory, Design for Theatre and Fashion Design. Their cumulative work and practice comes together as a holistic exploration of identity, movement, sexuality, and how the embodied subject navigates space and the natural world. To connect with Taylor, you may find them at their website taylorneal.ca, on Instagram @nzzltea, or through their podcast, Full Bloom Pod, on Apple Music and Spotify.

mona fani (she/her) is a persian-canadian multi-media artist with a focus on analog practices in photography and visual design. For more of Mona’s work, follow her on Instagram (@yourgurlmona), and check out her website: www.monafani.com