When TRS turns on her camera, the glow of her sunset lamp lights up her face and arches across the walls behind her. It’s fitting for the warmth she exudes. She takes her time, answering each question with care and softly smiling or leaning forward with laughter; her energy is simultaneously grounding and uplifting, approachable and charming. 

TRS’ music and songwriting are introspective and soulful. Her recent single, “Fallin’,” invites listeners into her personal reflection, as she recognizes her cycle of rushing into love, instead of taking time with herself. Listeners are immediately transported by the track’s sample to the sensation of slowly moving downwards, underwater, leading us to TRS’ silky vocals and into her world. 

In “Fallin’,” TRS begins to recognize the ways she’s holding herself back from healing, but the work that follows is gradual and nonlinear. Her verses are accompanied by a piano part that lures listeners into a separate realm–the bliss of being in love–and at other times, in moments of clarity and realisation, there is only the underlying drums and bass. Produced by FiveGawd, “Fallin’” is the second track of TRS’ upcoming EP Respectfully, which answers what comes after awareness: challenges, but also healing through oneself and one’s community. 

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Cathy Xu: When did you start creating or recording music?

TRS: I started writing songs–random verses or things I would sing out–when I was eleven or twelve. In elementary school, we used to have paper over our desks, so we drew on it and customised our desks. I would just write song lyrics in the corners [laughs].

When I was fourteen, I saved up and got a Pro Tools Starter-Pack from Best Buy. That was the first time I tried recording myself. I think I put my first thing on Soundcloud when I was fifteen. So yeah, it's kind of just been around for awhile.

How would you describe your music in three words? What makes TRS, TRS?

Warmth. I think there's a warmth to my sound...Vulnerability, just being honest about the grey areas. There's a lot of nuance and complex emotions, and I like to write about those...Smooth.

What inspired you to create "Fallin’?”

Usually when I'm writing, I try not to set any expectations about what I'm going to write about, or how the song's going to be. I just let the pen guide me, let my subconscious speak for me. So, I didn't really know it yet, but something was weighing on my spirit, and I was like, "Wow, I keep falling into this pattern of falling in love with people and using it as a distraction from giving my full attention to myself and what I needed to work on." I was realising it and becoming ready to speak on it.

You described your song-making process as “letting go.” Were there any times when you didn't plan your music to go one way, and it surprised you in a good way?

Actually, "Fallin'" was really unique, because it was the first time I met FiveGawd, the producer. It was 100% our first impression, and it was the first time I walked into a session with a stranger and left with a finished song. Even though it's happened since, it's still really special and unique to just connect with someone instantaneously. So, I actually had no idea what I was getting myself into and how it was going to go. We just met somewhere in the middle and were on the same page. It's pretty rare and special when you can just trust someone creatively that quickly. I left with a song and a friend.

Even if the song came together serendipitously, you can sense the intention in all your musical choices. Could you tell us a bit about the thinking behind the arrangement, the song-making?

I'm the second best person to ask this. Five is obviously responsible for a lot of the arrangement choices. I think I suggested having just the drums and the bass in the second verse, but otherwise, he took the lead. He's very intuitive and experimental. He incorporated the piano as a way to drive the song forward. And without even really realising until after, I start talking about that "skin to skin, soul to soul love," that really blissful feeling of being around new things, right as the piano comes in. It's great timing.

Once the second verse comes in, it starts with the sample and goes to drums and bass. There's a bit more awareness, because before, you're still wrapped up in how fun ignorance is and how you fall in love first. So, once the second verse comes in, and the instrumentation changes, it gets a bit more gritty and blunt, so the lyrics enter into the realisation, and suddenly love isn't being romanticised in the same way.

How does "Fallin'" drive the story of your first track, "Respectfully," further? 

"Respectfully" is the first impression. When you're meeting someone, you don't really get to know them from one encounter. It takes a few more times to really get to know who they are and what's beneath the surface. In "Respectfully," there's that bravado and that shamelessness and confidence; the walls are still up a bit. "Fallin'" is more vulnerable. It's risking a bit more. The story is progressing, because you're getting to know me or at least the story a bit better.

The EP depicts a cycle that I've definitely gone through more than once. It's obviously not the whole picture, but it's a good idea of what that cycle can look like.

Do you have any thoughts about self-healing, any advice or messages for readers?

Sometimes working on yourself almost seems like a waste of time or like you're pausing your life, but I'm learning to accept that those moments of stillness are necessary and understanding that it's not linear. It's not going to be like, "Oh, you go from A to B and C." Sometimes you're at “J,” and you end up back at “B.” It just happens, and you're picking up tools along the way, so you're only going to be more equipped. Sometimes saving yourself and pulling yourself out of it is actually just going through it and coming out on the other side.

Let yourself feel. At least for me, the lows can be really low, and I have a hard time accepting it, and I felt like I had a duty to pull myself out of it, like I have to take these active steps to be better, but sometimes you can't force or rush whatever you're going through. Sometimes you just have to feel it, even if it feels like shit. It's your body telling you something, and you have to listen. It's best to let it happen and let yourself feel not okay, let nature take its course. It's an ongoing process. I'm learning that there's no finish line. It's all just a part of life. So yeah, being more patient.

Your line, “skin to skin, that soul to soul love,” really holds the intimacies of love that makes it so exhilarating, but also so hard to let go. Breakups are devastating, because you're not only mourning someone who is important to you, but also a part of yourself that was deeply connected to who you were with them. 

Do you have any thoughts for readers about coming into versions of yourself after relationships, or even welcoming back and rediscovering parts of yourself that you had mourned?

No, it's so true. There's this whole identity shaped around who you are with this person, especially if it's something long term. You become a unit, and it's hard to separate yourself from that. Yeah, you mourn the person you used to be, and it's hard to navigate that, because you can't really find the person you were before them. It feels like you're a whole new person, so you have to just completely get to know yourself all over again.

It's challenging, but I think it's a really beautiful process: spending quality time with yourself, taking yourself out, doing things that you would do with someone else. Just paying attention to yourself: how you react to situations, observing yourself, what you like, what you don't like, what you value, what's important to you, and journaling, just keeping up with yourself. Obviously, we, for the most part, have a core sense of who we are, but it can get lost in time, so whenever I'm lost, that's what I try to do.

Yeah, it might feel like we're losing a part of ourselves, but those feelings that we had and what brought about those feelings are still very true and unique to ourselves. That's something you can always make your way back to. It’s comforting.

We all have a core. We're the same person throughout everything. Some elements might change, but there's always a "you" to go back to.

I didn't think of it that way until you asked that, but that actually makes me feel a lot better [laughs]. It's not like you're completely getting to know this new stranger. That's just a little bit more daunting. There's always someone to go to. There's a home within who you really are. You will always have your own back.

What can we expect for the rest of the EP?

"Fallin'" is important in the story, because it's the awareness–the first time I'm realising what the pattern is. It progresses a bit further into a look at what the pattern looks and feels like–that pattern of being stuck within that state of love and not being able to say goodbye and let go, because that powerful feeling of love is hard to let go. Then, the interlude is about wanting to break that cycle and having a hard time with yourself. The last song closes it well, because it has that similar energy, the same bravado, as "Respectfully." It ends on a higher note, and it comes full circle.

I'm really excited for everyone to hear it. I hope it feels like a story that circles back, and I hope it emulates healing that cycle.

My last question is something that I love asking people: What is bringing you joy these days?

My bed. [Laughs] Ever since it started snowing, my bed. Oh, that's a great question!

My family, my friends, for sure...Solitude. I'm learning to like it more. I feel like as soon as I get comfortable with it, someone pulls me out of it, and I have to start over. So, after being out for so long, I'm navigating it all over again, getting more comfortable with solitude.

I love going for walks so much. Especially being at home all day, getting a breath of fresh air is so crucial. I can't wait for summer walks.

Reading...Painting always brings me joy. I'm teaching myself the piano right now. I'm not a good teacher, because I don't really know what I'm doing [laughs], but I played when I was a kid, and I'm just getting back into it. I'm trying to start my daily scales, and it's been fun.

Fallin’ is now available on all platforms. Follow TRS (@trs.mp3) for her upcoming releases, and watch the “Fallin’” music video now: